


☪ Hold On ☪ || Ushiten ((REWRITE))

by idiotic_potatoes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bullying, Depression, Heartbreak, Hospitalization, Hospitals, M/M, Shiratorizawa, Suicide Attempt, pill overdose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotic_potatoes/pseuds/idiotic_potatoes
Summary: Alright, the first one was extremely rushed and I hate it now, so I decided to start rewriting it. This one will definitely be a lot longer and have multiple chapters so I don't eventually lose interest in it.Ushijima knows of Tendou's past and the way he has been treated. He had hoped that Tendou was doing a lot better now, but to his dismay, that's not the case. Tendou still suffered from severe depression but was able to hide it pretty efficiently.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Kudos: 16





	☪ Hold On ☪ || Ushiten ((REWRITE))

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the half-assed summary, I've always sucked at em

The air was cold outside. Ushijima and Tendou were walking together down their usual path to get to Shiratorizawa Academy. The two were linked together like twins ever since their first year, practically inseparable from each other. Their personalities may have been completely different, but that didn’t stop the two third years from being best friends. Ushijima was only really honest with his feelings around Tendou, he smiled at least the slightest bit around him, unlike his stoic expression.

The walk was nice and peaceful for both of them. Nothing to disturb the constant flowing of thoughts, nothing to get in the way. Despite the comfortable silence, Tendou broke it. “What are you planning on doing after we graduate?” Tendou didn’t stop walking, but he looked at Ushijima out of curiosity for what his answer would be.

Tendou honestly already had a feeling what Ushijima would answer with, but he just wanted to make some conversation. “I’m going to go professional with volleyball,” his answer was blank, but there was a slight smile that came to Ushijima’s lips that only Tendou could notice.

Grinning a bit, Tendou replied with his own answer, “I wanna do something with sweets!” He was pretty confident in his answer. “Like, hmm,” Tendou thought for a moment. He  _ has  _ thought about what kind of sweets he’d do, but he has never made a full decision. “Chocolates! I love chocolate,” A small bit of drool escaped from Tendou’s mouth as he thought of his favorite thing to eat.

The walk was back to the comfortable silence, Tendou keeping the small grin on his face. Ushijima wouldn’t admit it, but he was also smiling softly as they made it to the school. The two third years went to their respective classes, waving goodbye to each other. Tendou slipped into his first class and listened to the teacher ramble on about something he wasn’t paying attention to. He already knew everything so he didn’t bother with it.

Tendou rested his head on his hand and looked out the window, watching as the birds flew freely about outside. He wondered what it would be like to be a bird, soaring through the air, not having a care in the world. For a second, Tendou wished that he was actually a bird, but he quickly pushed the thought away. Being a bird sounded ridiculous, a cat sounds more reasonable. Tendou kept staring out the window, not realizing his name was being called by the teacher.

“Tendou!” The teacher shouted, startling Tendou, his head snapping to face the teacher. Small giggles from his classmates could be heard, annoying Tendou a bit but he didn’t mind it much. “Are you listening? This is some really important stuff,” the teacher explained, pointing to the green chalkboard that had white chalk scribbled all over it.

“I already know all of this stuff,” Tendou blankly stated as he went back to staring at the birds outside of the window. The teacher got visibly irritated and his classmates’ giggling got louder. Tendou didn’t pay attention to anything more after that, he didn’t want to bother with anything more from this godforsaken school. The only good thing about it was the volleyball team, that was the only reason he didn’t transfer to a different one.

“Detention, Tendou Satori,” the teacher blurted out after having enough of Tendou’s shit. Tendou just rolled his eyes and continued staring into the world outside. He was stuck in this place while there was an infinite amount of places he could be exploring at this moment.

After that class was over, Tendou sent a quick text to Ushijima.

**Satoriii 👁👄👁**

I’m gonna be late to club today, I got detention

Ushijima sent a ‘thumbs up’ in response. He was never really one to type out full sentences if it wasn’t needed. If Ushijima needed to explain something further, he would just call the person he was talking to. It took Tendou a bit of time to get used to it, but now it didn’t bother him at all. In fact, he appreciated hearing Ushijima’s voice explain something.

Tendou quickly got out of his seat and made his way to his next class. Thankfully it went a lot faster than his first one along with the one after that. Soon enough, it was lunchtime. Tendou was excited to talk to Ushijima, so he stuffed his bag and books into his locker and ran to their usual hangout spot. Once Ushijima came into view, Tendou slowed into a jog.

“Hello, Wakatoshi-kun!” Tendou said as he plopped onto the bench that Ushijima was sitting at. Ushijima had clearly been waiting to eat until Tendou got there. Tendou’s heart swelled at the thought of Ushijima caring so much for him, but he refused to show it. At least not in front of the rest of the school.

“Hello, Satori, why did you get detention?” Ah, straight to the point. Classic Ushijima. People thought of him as weird for not sugarcoating anything he says and just saying it as it is, but he and Tendou never thought there was a problem with it.

“Well,” Tendou began, taking a bite out of his sandwich and chewing, “I wasn’t paying attention and was just staring out the window minding my own business, then the teacher got mad because I wasn’t paying attention even though I knew everything, then gave me detention,” Tendou said all the while chewing, finishing the bite he was eating then taking another. Ushijima just nodded to signal that he understood.

“That’s kind of stupid,” Ushijima blankly stated which made Tendou laugh a little while eating. The rest of their lunch was spent in comfortable silence. Not many words were exchanged until the bell signaling that their break was over rang throughout campus. Tendou gave Ushijima a quick hug before running off to his next class.

Ushijima would never admit it, but whenever Tendou hugs him it makes his heart race just a little bit faster. The feeling was completely foreign to Ushijima since his mind was mainly on volleyball almost 24/7, so there have been a few times where he thought he was going to die. Pushing away the thoughts, Ushijima went to his next class as well, already wanting them to be over so he can spend more time with his best friend.

. . .

The school day was finally over and Ushijima walked to the front of the school, waiting for Tendou to meet up so they could walk home together. Ever since they became friends, it had become a sort of tradition to walk to Ushijima’s house every Friday and hang out there. Tendou didn’t really have anything better to do on the weekends so he always spent his time with Ushijima.

"Wakatoshi-kuuuuun!" Ushijima turned around to see Tendou walking towards him with a big smile plastered on his face. Ushijima felt himself smile slightly at seeing his best friend. 

"Hello Satori," Ushijima greeted Tendou with a warm expression. He was honestly looking forward to Tendou coming over this weekend. Not for any particular reason, he just enjoyed spending time with him. Ushijima decided that once Tendou was sound asleep, he would do some research about what he’s feeling like to get a definite answer. Ushijima was still highly confused and was worried he might be having a heart problem, but something told him that that wasn’t quite the thing that’s going on.

Tendou landed a heavy hand on Ushijima’s back as his signature sort of greeting sign for their friendship. After that simple action, they started walking to Ushijima’s house together. The walk was relatively quiet except for the occasional rant about his day from Tendou. Of course, those rants weren’t free of his dumb reason for detention. Ushijima found comfort in Tendou’s rants as weird as it was, but something about them made Ushijima feel as if Tendou trusted him.

Once they made it to Ushijima’s house, the door was unlocked and Tendou plopped down onto the couch with a relieved sigh. Ushijima made a quick movement to make some tea for the two boys. Again, this is one of their traditions when Tendou came over for the weekend. 

Ushijima lived alone while Tendou lived with his parents. Tendou’s parents weren’t exactly the  _ best _ , so these weekend sleepovers were a huge relief to the red-haired boy. Tendou gratefully took the tea when Ushijima handed it to him and took small sips from the cup until it was cooled down enough to properly drink. The two were surrounded by more comfortable silence, neither of them wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere.

After their tea was long gone and there was nothing else to do, Ushijima grabbed the remote and promptly turned the TV onto Tendou’s favorite channel, the Disney channel. Tendou smiled widely at the sight of one of his favorite shows and sank deeper into the couch for more comfort. The light from the TV illuminated the living room as the sun began to set. Barely any words were spoken between the two boys as they were just focused on watching whatever was on the TV.

A few hours passed before Tendou slowly started to drift off to sleep. This being a normal habit of his, Ushijima carefully picked up the sleeping boy and carried him to the guest bedroom. The guest bedroom could hardly be considered ‘guest’ because it was practically Tendou’s at that point. He had a dresser with a plethora of his clothes in it. Of course, it was missing a few things that would make it seem like Tendou’s instead of any other random bedroom, but that’s because most of his things were still at his own house. 

Ushijima gently set Tendou down onto the bed and covered him with the blanket that was already on the bed. Ushijima made sure that Tendou was completely comfortable before quietly leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

That night, Ushijima did some research about his emotions. He found out a couple of things. 1. The thing he’s experiencing is love. 2. He’s in love with his best friend. Ushijima was always told that being gay was wrong, but he never saw any harm in it, love was an emotion that people couldn’t control even if they tried to. After Ushijima’s parents died, there was no one to push that belief onto him.

. . .

Tendou woke up screaming, frantically searching his surroundings for any opposing danger. Once everything seemed like it was normal, Tendou sighed and laid back down.

_ Another nightmare. _

Ushijima came into the room a few seconds later, being startled awake by Tendou screaming. Worry was written all over the male’s face as he looked at his best friend. Ushijima may not have been one to show much emotion, but when it came to Tendou he cared a lot about his best friend.

“Sorry Wakatoshi-kun, you can go back to sleep,” Tendou looked at the bigger male with a reassuring smile on his face. However, Ushijima wasn’t quite convinced that Tendou was  _ actually  _ okay. Instead of going back to his room, Ushijima stayed standing in the doorway, showing no signs of moving until he was absolutely sure that Tendou was okay.

Tendou bit his lip for a second, before patting the spot on the bed next to him, scooting over slightly to make more room. “Can you just- lay with me for a bit? You don’t have to stay,” Tendou was unable to look at Ushijima at that moment, his eyes just averted to the ground next to the bed. Ushijima must have felt somewhat satisfied because Tendou felt a dip in the bed, signifying that Ushijima was now next to him. 

Ushijima wrapped his arms around Tendou and pulled him closer to his chest. This was highly unlike Ushijima, but instead of saying anything, Tendou decided that he would savor this moment. Ushijima was never affectionate towards the slim male apart from light hugs here and there, but that was it. What happened next was definitely not what Tendou was expecting. Ushijima ran his fingers through Tendou’s hair that wasn’t stuck up like usual due to the time. Tendou melted under Ushijima’s touch, not used to this feeling at all. 

All Ushijima knew he had to do was to comfort Tendou, and he felt like this was the best way to do so. Tendou ended up crying into Ushijima's chest no longer how hard he tried to hold it back. Ushijima tried soothing his best friend as much as he could, and thankfully it helped. Tendou fell asleep after about ten minutes of sobbing, though Ushijima never stopped playing with Tendou's hair.

. . .

Tendou woke up in the morning to the smell of bacon. He didn't remember anything from last night so Tendou just lazily got out of bed and walked out of the room. "Good morning Wakatoshi-kun," Tendou greeted his best friend while yawning and stretching.

"Good morning Satori, did you sleep well?" Ushijima asked softly, not looking away from what he was cooking. Tendou just nodded even though he knew Ushijima wouldn't be able to see him. Plopping down on the couch, Tendou reached to the coffee table and grabbed the remote. He turned on the regular Disney channel and waited for Ushijima to join him on the couch.

A couple of minutes later Ushijima came into the living room with two plates of food in his hands. He hands Tendou one then sits down next to him, now paying attention to the TV. The pair ate in silence apart from the noise from the TV, however, Tendou could sense a hint of awkwardness in the air.

"Is everything okay Wakatoshi-kun?" Tendou asked before picking up another bite of food, for once not paying attention to the TV and giving his full attention to Ushijima. The sudden question startled Ushijima as he turned to look back at Tendou, his eyes going a little wider but soon going back to normal.

"Everything is fine Satori, there is no need to worry." Ushijima attempted to assure Tendou that there was nothing wrong, but clearly, Tendou didn't buy it as the latter gave an unamused look. 

There  _ was _ in fact something on Ushijima's mind, and that was Tendou. Tendou had been the only thing Ushijima was capable of thinking about other than volleyball. However, Ushijima didn't want to admit that because he was worried he'd make things awkward between the two of them and he didn't want that. He would do anything to keep their friendship going for as long as they possibly could. 

"I've just been thinking about what'll happen after graduation," Ushijima came up with something that was at least  _ partially _ true. He was worried that he and Tendou wouldn't be able to talk as much as they do now. Now that he really thought about it, Ushijima never asked Tendou if he had any plans after high school was done and over with.

Tendou let out one of his loud laughs, almost spilling some of his food in the process. Once Tendou finally calmed down enough to speak, he did, "That's something I was not expecting Wakatoshi-kun, I thought you were gonna say something about volleyball," Tendou wiped a small tear from the corner of his eye that formed due to how hard he laughed. After Tendou was completely calmed down, he sunk deeper into the couch and sighed happily. Ushijima couldn’t help but smile softly at Tendou’s laughter, it had always been music to his ears for as long as he can remember. From the looks of it, Tendou let the topic go and there was no longer any awkwardness in the air, making both of them relieved. The rest of breakfast went by smoothly and they made their way to school.


End file.
